When Will We Reach the Top?

I never got a reply from our case worker from yesterday so I emailed her again after lunch today. She emailed me back and said she would “check into it”. So far, that’s all I have gotten back. At least this time she said she would check into it instead of “no, haven’t heard anything, I will let you know.” I hope it’s not bad news since we haven’t heard anything. Maybe she is afraid to tell us we were not approved. Who knows. I haven’t been in a very good mood lately though and I apologize for that. I know I shouldn’t worry, I should have patience, but I am really struggling with it. I heard a sermon about “wanting” and begging God for things. Even things that may be for good. The lesson was more or less, be careful what you wish for, sometimes you get more than what you bargain for. I am trying to apply that to my situation now. God wants us to want Him and He is enough. He knows what is best and doesn’t want to hear our begging and “wanting”. I know I “want” to adopt. We have wanted it for a while. I know it’s a “good” thing. Maybe He knows something we don’t. So, in the meantime I’m trying to just “let it go” for now. But I’m not in a great mood. I don’t know what I will do if we find out we aren’t approved after all this work, time, and waiting. I will have to deal with it. I have not been very focused on anything else. I feel like I am walking around in a fog, the unknown. I missed the 10th grade registration. That’s the first year I have ever missed a registration for one of my kids. I will get him registered, but late of course. I haven’t wanted to cook, but I have. I know that’s a chore no one really WANTS to do but it has taken some extra effort lately. I will be ok, I am just ready to get over this hump. Actually, it feels more like a huge mountain and I am so ready to reach the peak. Each days end feels like another reach for the top, one more step, pulling myself up, muscles sore and weak in an effort to reach the peak. And I cannot see the top. I am just left wondering if this one reach will be the last reach before I can pull myself up to the top and let out a sigh of relief.