The Unattainable

It’s funny how people have pictured what the child we adopt will look like. My mom said she pictured us with a little blonde haired, curly headed girl. I picture totally opposite. Dark, long brown hair. I will have to see if Mark has pictured anything. Of course we don’t know what he, she or they will look like and we are not making a decision based on what they look like. But it is interesting what people think and waiting to see how it turns out. I saw a family of five kids, yes FIVE, that I was drawn to, but obviously we don’t have the room. It’s funny the ones I have been drawn to have been groups of siblings. If we had the room that is what we would do. I am going to burst when we get our first match. It will be so exciting, and to think that it could happen at any minute of any day is amazing. I can’t believe we made it through the “process” so far. It’s a major accomplishment just getting to this point. I didn’t think I had the patience to do it. I wasn’t patient, but I did survive! It was always a thing I thought about often and really didn’t think it was possible for us. I don’t know why, I just figured it was something I wanted, but it would never happen. Mark and I adopt? No way, it would never happen. It will always just be a dream. I would tell people the rest of my life “yeah, I always wanted to adopt, but never did”. Well, here we are! Entering a life I never really expected. It was kind of one of those “it happens to others, but will never happen for me”. All it took was motivation and action to get it started. Why it seemed unattainable to me, I am not sure. Now I just wonder why more people don’t do it. I am sure they have the same fears I did. It’s just a matter of researching and realizing most of the fears are just that, fears! You would be surprised at what you might learn. We can’t be driven by fear. That has kept me from so much before and doing this is such an accomplishment for me. Over-coming my fears and not letting others influence what I know is in my heart. I have thought a lot about WHY I have a heart for adoption. I hope it doesn’t come across that the family I have is not enough, that I need more, because that is not the case. I am completely fulfilled. I love my family and I am very proud of them. They are more than enough. I am truly blessed and I know this. I have great kids, boys and a girl. I’m not missing a thing, BUT in ways I do feel sometimes that we are not done. Our family is not complete yet. It sounds like a contraindication, but it’s not. I think God has placed adoption on my heart. He is telling me we are not finished yet. We still need to build our family. Although I am content, I do get that feeling of not being finished, and it’s from God. I know that. As well, it’s not just me. I feel my kids and husband are still ready to share their life with more. We are all content, but we are all not finished yet! We are anxious to continue on the journey.