Taking Risks

To live without risk is not living at all.
I saw that saying today and realized how true it is. I was never a risk taker until about 2005. It all changed. I quit my job of 11 years. Left behind the senority, good benefits and stability. Some might call it stupid instead of risky. I was terrified. I thought about quitting years before I actually did. Once I decided to do it, I did it that very day. I didn’t want anyone talking me out of it. I was tired of making myself sick over the fear and just went for it. It took a lot of encouragement from Mark. He is just the opposite of me, always willing to take a risk. So, although we have struggled a bit since I quit I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am so much happier now and less stressed.
Then we come to adoption. Same situation. I considered it for years and talked myself out of it many, many times. With some urging from Mark we again took the plunge. He has talked me out of quitting several times since the beginning. I realized a long time ago that I was not a risk taker and I’m so glad Mark and I complement each other in that way. I would have missed out on so much by taking the “safe” path. It’s so liberating when you take a risk and you see that things work out and you survived!
And here we are. We are taking a HUGE risk adopting. There are so many unknowns. I still get that reaction from people at times, “OOOHHH, great!” when really you can detect in their voice that they are thinking “You crazy fool! Don’t you have 3 already????”, and some even say that. It still stings a little, but for the most part I am done worrying about what everyone else thinks. Sometimes I stop for a half second and question myself, but overall I am extremely excited. I know things will work out and I shouldn’t expect everyone to understand. Sometimes I even wonder if something is wrong with me. Should I be more afraid, more cautious? Maybe my faith has grown. Maybe it’s that simple. I don’t know what it is, but it is a good thing, and I do know “living without risk is not living at all”.