Focusing on the Positive

Today I want to focus on the positive since the previous posts have reflected my negativity!
Our adoption is not even complete yet it has taught me so much!
Most of all, it has taught me that I can do something independent of what anyone else thinks or says. I have always been so impressionable. If anyone said anything negative about anything it affected my actions and my thoughts, regardless of how I personally felt about something. I am learning to trust my own instincts and believe in myself. No matter how many times I hear we are making a mistake or we should not adopt I am learning to listen to God, who tells me we ARE doing the right thing and we CAN do it. I used to be terrified about the what -if’s, now, I am very at peace with the whole decision. Adoption is a commitment, much the same as making the decision to become a natural birth parent. There are no guarantees even with birth children. They could have medical problems, they could be difficult teenagers, they can follow the wrong path. We pray that they won’t and raise them the best we know how. We are committed to them and love them, no matter what. Making the decision to adopt boils down to your commitment. Yes, so far things have gone smoothly with our own children and we are blessed. Some wonder why we would want to take that risk another time with the addition of more children. Are we pressing our luck? Maybe. Or maybe God prepared us with the wonderful children we have now to be able to take on more. Who knows. Our adoption may continue smoothly as well, but we are committed to handle whatever we are dealt if it does not. We believe the blessings will out- weigh the trials. It is an opportunity for our own children to learn what it means to share, show tolerance, accept, and welcome a stranger into our lives just as we were all adopted into Gods family as we are, regardless of our sins, skin color, likes, dislikes, whether we deserve it or not. We are learning to do things that may not seem “comfortable”, but to make compromises.
We have learned a lot about our friends and family as well as ourselves. I always felt like I struggled to find my place. My desire to do my part, but not being able to find that thing I was supposed to do. I volunteered at church, we were part of the praise team, we taught class, we offered ourselves in any way possible to the church looking for what we were called to do. That was not satisfying that desire. None of that was our ‘calling’. I tried helping open a daycare to provide the love and care to the children and fill a need for working parents that I was passionate about. That did not work out. I was always interested and fascinated with adoption and looked at the websites but never saw it as an obtainable goal for us. I didn't think everyone would approve and didn't think I could do it. Now, I know, this is what we are meant to do. I see adoption as a ministry. I know that adoption is not only what we can offer a child in need, but more importantly what we can learn from them and the process. God is using it to grow us. He is using it to teach us to depend on Him, trust Him and wait on Him. He is using it to teach us tolerance and acceptance. I know it’s not for everyone. Everyone has their own passions. Adoption has taken on a whole new dimension to me over the past year. It has such a deeper meaning now and I hope that everyone will be able to see adoption in a new light, in a positive light, and will step out of their comfort zone to consider something that may have just been a thought in the back of their mind before and act on it. I know I will continue to be weary and frustrated, but I know we still have so much to learn and I know that the child or children that enter our lives will continue to make an impact for many years! Good and bad!