How the story started

As I said, we decided in January to go ahead and pursue adoption. Between the time we decided and the time I started blogging is a 4 month gap. There are many reasons I waited to tell everyone, but I will try to fill in the gaps as well as I remember now. I didn't want to tell a bunch of people knowing I had the possibility of backing out. Which I have, several times! We had discussed adoption MANY times before, but I always backed out. I knew in my heart from as far back as I remember that I wanted to adopt. What kept me from it every time was fear....... what would the effects be on my birth children mainly. But, I now believe it is a valueable learning experience for them, more than what they may have to "give up" or share. Finally, in January, I decided now is the time if we are going to ever do it. I will be 40 next year! OMG! At the moment I still have SOME energy left and it hasn't been THAT long since I had little ones! My youngest just turned 10! They are old enough to understand now what it means to offer a child a life they may not have had otherwise.
So, I got on the internet and searched everything I could find on adoption. After I realized we could not afford the China adoption that was the first time I almost gave up. I let it rest for a couple weeks and decided to start researching domestic adoption. It was scary. Most of the kids you read about have severe disabilities or have suffered major, unthinkable abuse. I had to keep my birth children's best interest at heart. I read horror stories and love stories. Its a gamble. You have to do your research. Mark and I decided to just follow the path and see where it leads us. You never have to say yes.... to anything.
We picked an agency and filled out our application and the process began. They sent us lists of paperwork that had to be filled out and returned. During the past four months that is what we have been working on. The state requires you to follow certain steps. None of it has been difficult, just time consuming. We should have ours finished this week. We are waiting on our son and Marks TB test results and our dogs rabies shots. Thats THREE dogs and one cat! ALL going to the vet today. That should be fun since Mark only has use of one arm after surgery yesterday. Luckily, they don't require livestock vaccinations! LOL... My youngest has 4 new chickens he has been dying to have, living in our chicken coop in the backyard :).
We attended a required Adoptive Parenting Class Thu, Fri, Sat this past week. Some of it was common knowledge, but it did give you a lot of information about a child coming from fostering that you may not think about. Every single one of those children go through a grieving process from losing their parents (abusive or not) or foster family. They can overcome it but it takes time and training. We got to meet several adoptive families and their kids. Many are adopting for a 2nd or 3rd time! After attending the class I know even more that I am doing the right thing. I didn't let people scare me and I'm so thankful I carried it through. We have even changed our mind about what we had in mind when we started the process. Many of the adoptive parents said the same thing. You have to be open. Open your heart to what may not feel comfortable. When we started we wanted one little girl around 6 or 7. We haven't counted that out, but we are also considering a brother/sister group. Ideally, we would like a 2 or 3 year old girl and 6-8 year old boy. But we are open. It will be interesting to see how it ends!!!